Think-a-link! Is it in?

Newsletter 28 -

Gamble responsibly?? Oh, perleeze!

I heard a radio ad last week, advertising a betting website, which was going on about having a punt and the zillions you could win....etc. There it was dangling that golden carrot for fluffy-eared folk like it was going out of fashion and, because we are in this caring, mollycoddling PC nonsense of a world, it signed off with the six-hitting, slam-dunking, clutch-putting, home-run of a line 'please gamble responsibly'! Isn't that just truly fabulous??? It's only a matter of time until we hear........'Get hideously drunk tactfully'.....'Speed with caution'...or....'Take drugs while considering others'. What sort of journey is this world of ours taking us on??? To correct this overreaction, I think we all need to spend a night in the company of the ever-so-slightly non-pc Bernard Manning. It would bring us back to reality with a big fat, sweaty northern thump of the ecky variety. 'Gamble responsibly'?.........it's a worry.

When I'm crossing the street and have left it a bit late, I quicken my pace to physically apologise to the oncoming traffic. But the way I do it is rubbish. Really I should hot-foot it to the other side sharpish. Instead I come out with the lamest of efforts by speeding up the next two paces and going back to my walk which is pathetic in its own right. But what makes it more embarrassing is that they are two giant slow-motion, gravity-free steps for mankind that Messrs Armstrong and Aldrin would be proud of. From now on, I will either carry on trudging and ignore them or bolt usainly. (Apologies if this scenario doesn't translate on paper).

While I'm on the subject of travel, recently I saw this oppressively, monstrous black 4x4 that wouldn't have a cats of getting into a multi-story car park waiting in a queue which I was walking along. I couldn't help but have a peek to see what sort of person was driving it. It's a game I play...'Guess the driver'. You know.....1. A puff-jacketed, short-haired blonde yummy mummy...2. A horsey, mustard-coloured jumbo-corded, tweed-jacketed damned fine fellow.....or....3. A 'Sopranos' extra. But what I saw was such a waste of horse-power and revs. She must have been 70 if she was a day who was hugging the steering wheel as if her life depended on it. She was so far forward that her face was almost touching the windscreen and her knees were on the other side of the wheel sticking up so high that she couldn't see the dashboard. I can only imagine that having left her 'bins' in the library, she got into the wrong car. I do love playing 'Guess the Driver' with my good lady when overtaking a plodder on the motorway. I always plump for an old dolly but often get let down by the geeky civil servant/accountant spods of this world.

Why do some people insist on pronouncing the word Vendor 'Ven door' when they don't say 'Direct tore', 'Conduct ore' and 'Tail lore'? We only say 'Ack tore' to have a small dig at our thespian chums.

Don't you just love feeling freshly plastered walls before they've been painted? We've currently got the builders in and they must be extremely concerned that I have some sort of bizarre fetish. While we're on the subject......I think I've had my quota of 'White, two sugars, love' and 'Oooo, my back's giving me gyp' to cover the next 20 years!

That concludes my observations for September.

Update

Things are going well in the 'Land of the Link'. Sir Linkalot is busy touring the UK's finest schools, spreading the joy of linking to any child who has a pulse. The book goes to the printers at the end of November not October as I told you in the last newsletter. So you still have two months to get your name in the book by submitting a 'get in there!' link for any fact you care to mention. The first Thinkalink Club begins this weekend at Ashdown House Prep school (E Sussex) which I hope will be the first of many (two more are to be confirmed with more in the pipeline). It's for all ages and ability and they will get heaps of tips and tricks thrown at them to learn all sorts of stuff. Sir Linkalot obviously can't wait!

Your chance to get involved

The site is a meeting-place for linkers & learners alike. So if you have a link for any random fact then submit it and let's see what the punters think. If it's a 'How on earth did you come up with that?' link then it'll go in the book (as will your name). Also, you can request anything to be linked, absolutely anything. Nothing is unlinkable!!

Feedback

I would love to get your thoughts and observations on the site, good or bad. This has been a passion of mine since 1995 and it's finally come to fruition which is hugely exciting. However, it's all new territory for me. So any guidance or tips on what does and doesn't work will be warmly received - please let me know at andy.salmon@thinkalink.co.uk

Competition

Congratulations to Freddie Ashton for getting the 4 answers correct which means that his pockets will be lined with £100. The answers were....

1. Apogee 2. Russia 3. Serbia 4. Austere

I'm sorry to say that due to a technical glitch, I am unable to upload images. So there will be no competition this month.

We do so love technology but are toast without it.

Apologies once more.

......and finally

Please let me know if you would prefer not to be contacted in this way and I will take you off my newsletter circulation list. If that is the case, please accept my apologies.

As always, let's finish the month in a blaze of glory.....

Colombia's capital is Bogota......Columbia Records have taken on a band called 'Bog Guitar' who are, quite frankly, poo.

The river Yarra runs through Melbourne.....Congratulations Mel B. Yarra 'Spice Girl'.

The House of Lancaster's badge is a Red Rose and the House of York's a White Rose.......Dwight Yorke.

Morocco's capital is Rabat......Do Moroccan acrobats wear fezzes?

Linking's a blast.

Have a fruitful autumn, one and all.

Regards

The Missing Link x

Think-a-link - is it in?

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