Think-a-link! Is it in?

Newsletter 27 -

Oh we do like to be beside the seaside....

Forgive me if I've called this one before but.....why do crabs walk sideways? In fact, it's a visual joke so I'll move on very quickly. (Good start Linky!). Having just returned from a bit of 'surf & sand' action.....well, I say surf action....more like a motionless beached whale smothering a bodyboard missing every wave that God sends along while every long-haired (I'm only jealous) dude catches them doing their very best to avoid grandad. I think I now know my place, no midlife crisis for me. Just the crossword in the shade and a couple of extremely soft, white ham rolls with copious amounts of butter on board. My ma used to serve up rock hard rolls that crumbled into dust when you tried to bite them, a la Michael Bentine's Potty Time. (apologies to the under 40s for that reference). By the way, every time I precariously tip-toe over stones, I always sing to myself the first line of the 'Secret Lemonade Drinker' song. (Sorry, the sun has clearly got to me).

Another apology, this time to non-cricketing fans out there (a taboo subject at the mo). As the season draws to a close I have to explain how us tanktop-wearing, cricketing spods arrive at what nicknames we give each other.

It's a very simple formula.....

1. If the surname has one syllable then bung a 'y' on the end.......Straussy, Cooky, Trotty, Swanny, Broady, Finny

2. If the surname has two syllables then knock off the second syllable and add an 's'.....Morgs, Hayds, Gatts

3. If the surname has three syllables and isn't too mad then replace the second and third syllables with 'ers' or 'y'......Athers, Anders, Harmy,

4. If the surname has three syllables (or more) and is a mad name then do your utmost to keep the sillyness going......Collywobble, Sidea**e, Underpants

5. If you apply these and the name doesn't quite sound right (Pieters, Priory) then make up a name that isn't linked to the surname.......i.e KP & Show-pony

What's extremely sad is that I now apply the above to anyone I meet in everyday life which drives wifey and the childers nuts.

Three shouts, for no good reason.......

1. Never ever say 'Past history' in your respective lives again.

2. It's 'Film' not 'Movie'. (I'm more than happy to be dragged into the 21st century but I can't be doing with this Americanism)

3. Initially I called this year 'Two thousand and ten' but quickly realised the error of my ways and now go for 'Twenty ten'. However, I recently heard 'Derms' (Dermot O'Leary) say 'Two ten' which I can't be doing with. I love it when people accidentally say 'o ten' when they mean 'ten', i.e 'o eight, o nine...'

I've just reread this and I am clearly off the scale this month! However, it's all in the price.

Oh, one more thing......the book is going to the printers at the end of next month. So, if you have a fantabulous link then submit it posthaste and let's see if we can get your moment of genius into print.

Your chance to get involved

The site is a meeting-place for linkers & learners alike. So if you have a link for anything, absolutely anything, regardless of how bizarro it is, then submit it and let's see what the paying viewers think. If it's a 'yeeling from the rooftops' link then it'll go in the book (as will your name). Also, you can request something to be linked, if you feel the urge. A bit of 'gauntlet throwing down' action did the linking world no harm.

Feedback

I would love to get your thoughts and observations on the site, good or bad. This has been a passion of mine since 1995 and it's finally come to fruition which is hugely exciting. However, it's all new territory for me. So any guidance or tips on what does and doesn't work will be warmly received - please let me know at andy.salmon@thinkalink.co.uk

Competition

Congratulations to Kitty Hamilton for getting the 4 answers correct thereby netting a cool 10,000 pennies. The answers were....

1. 289 2. Nicolaus 3. Two wood 4. Arsenal

Here is the next competition....

www.thinkalink.co.uk/content/competitions/competitions/competition-28-august-10-open

Email the answers to andy.salmon@thinkalink.co.uk and you will be entered into the draw for 100 large ones.

......and finally

Please let me know if you would prefer not to be contacted in this way and I will take you off my newsletter circulation list. If that is the case, please accept my apologies.

As always, let's finish off with some linkerettes hot off the press.....

Jamaica's capital is Kingston.....Jamaica King's tongue purple by offering him beetroot?

There are 206 bones in an adult human skeleton.....If you turn the 's' of 'bones' around you can see 206 in the word backwards...6One2

The highest waterfall is the Angel Falls in Venezuela......Vene Angel falls from Heaven...

The Magna Carta (limited a ruler's power) was reluctantly signed by King John in 1215 ..............King John was a bit of a goon. Signed the Magna Carta at quarter past noon (12.15)

I link therefore I am.

Pip pip!

Linky

Think-a-link - is it in?